I'm at this point ( again ) with all these questions but with no answers ... yet. I always ask myself if I can still go on with the current course. This year was like being part of the Hunger Games: survival and surviving. Admittedly, it sometimes gets tiring. I sometimes ask myself if I am in the wrong place because there are days when I appear as if I don't care. And, the don't-careness easily spreads itself to areas of one's life once one loses enthusiasm, but the nice thing about this, is that I know it's just a phase and there's something that I can do about it. I really just need to let some steam out.Ü
The not-so-obvious now being stated: horror knows its business. It constantly reminds me to watch my back and to not trust anyone. Horror keeps me grounded knowing that I can bleed. I can make mistakes. And everything could just be gone in an instant.
I'm thinking that I need to appreciate the power of pace. To pace is to know when to go slow so you can think and wait until the danger is over then you get to bombard with sensory overload.
Balance & Absence. Silence sets the scene for the scream and the screaming ceases for you to enjoy the silence while it lasts. It pays to keep things simple and just play with your childhood fears. Horror, when needed, kills your desire to dream. It throws you over its shoulder and carries you to a locked room where it leaves you to wait and shake while the nightmares seep through the floor. Ganyan ang labanan ngayon.
Today, one of our big bosses celebrated her 50th birthday and she's been in the place where I'm working for decades. She rose from the ranks — while looking at her this morning, I couldn't help but think of how much she has accomplished and how much she's worked hard to be where she is today. Some old-timers at work say that hers is a story of both luck and corporate success. I've only known her for over a year, but I can tell that she has her way with people and loyalty beyond compare.
So. As my day draws to a close, I wonder if I might have planned it all out a little better. Nah, I don't think so. Although not knowing and not having the answers to my questions kill the hell out of me and at the same time, I also get a rush out of it. Despite the overload of thoughts, feeling perpetually exhausted, and not knowing if it is either stress or if my mind is just puzzling out solutions with no guarantee of logical answers. My life right now is similar to that of a car race.
Guess it's a good time to slow down a bit, let everything pass, and get my much-needed massage. It wouldn't hurt to sit back and see how everything looks like from behind the rest of the pack, right? Peace + ❥ Love + Good Vibes. RUSS.
10 comments:
I somehow went to something similar in my earlier years. I moved back to my hometown in 2014 and I never felt more satisfied with life. The last years I spent in Manila and in the corporate setting was just toxic for me and the change has given a good boost to my stressful/anxious state then.
We have to take everything at our own pace because it's usually how we can solve the challenges we face. Your mom still has so many years ahead of her and one can only hope to achieve just as much as she has :D
You know what, even with all those unresolved things, at least you finished the post on a positive note. It's great to stop, breathe, and just take it all in, maybe then you'll get your answers.
A nice reflective/ introspective article... I guess I prefer such articles that makes me think rather than to just blog about events!
I guess there are always times where we are not ourselves and just go on autopilot. It's really nice to build in the right habits in that case. I admire older people in the workplace who really worked their way. The old school of things is they get to know everything, learn to own their responsibilities and they move up.
We have no way of knowing what will happen in our lives. We just have to equip ourselves with knowledge, skills and the proper attitude to tide the favor in our direction. Prayer helps a lot too.
At times we really need to slow down our pace and let things be and let things pass. At times, it gets too much to handle and we definitely need a break, once in a while.
Corporate world problems.. I am also a part of this corporate world and I must say that like you, sometimes I just think that I will be forever stuck in this same place for a long time. I would feel hopeless at some point but I guess you just have to strive for more and of course, pray. I'm sure we'll go somewhere soon enough. :P
I had this experience as well before. i think it all happens to everyone at a point. i believe sometimes it's God's way of testing us and making us remeber him at a point. :)
This post has a really inspiring message. We all no to slow down our paces and celebrate what s around us.
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