17 May, 2014

PENSIVE BUT STILL GRATEFUL

God answered my prayer. It wasn't what I asked for.
I was praying so hard for this for at least six months ( I wish there were a prayer tracking device ) and the first few seconds when it finally dawned on me that I wasn't getting what I wanted, it was disheartening. I forced myself to smile, to appear okay, and to not sound affected through the rest of that conversation just to conceal my disappointment. And deep inside, I was scared and at the same time I was so pissed at myself for being way too positive about this.

I text-ed my Mom, called P and Candace. We all agreed that the path I wanted to take was my best option for the change that I needed. It felt like a now-or-never situation, but it felt great. Apparently, the heavens tell me otherwise. Mom reminded me that sometimes people are afraid because it IS important and while we feel that, it is equally important to fight. As disappointing as the situation is, you have to fight to soldier on.

Clearly, this is not for me.
I felt bad because I could have avoided not feeling like this.
I have forgotten that NO is also an answer.



"I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope." - Psalm 130:5


My glass is still half-full :)
I had to let myself sulk — this is a legitimate function. My prayer may have been a little selfish and I acknowledge that I cannot always get what
I want. When I had the chance to think this through, I realized that I may have wanted the easy way out of a situation that I do not like. The easier road is never the most satisfying; the more difficult ones that are most rewarding.

The first thing that I read when I got in the car that morning was a friend's Facebook post that said, "If you're someone who has decided that it's time for a change, congratulate yourself for having the guts to be vulnerable enough to get this far. Even the naysayers around you wish they had the courage that you do. Your bravery and your risk-taking will pay off, even if it currently doesn't feel that way."

Happy Weekend, ☮..Peace + _Love + Good Vibes. RUSS.


20 comments:

Ben-Ariel said...

Good vibes lang Russ :)

bxcrochet said...

Wow I really love your friend's Facebook quote. It is so true.

Michelle F.

Russ R. said...

BENNY
Don't worry, I'm all good now. I just needed to vent out a bit.

Mama to 5 said...

Nice post, very uplifting and encouraging!

P Bishop said...

I pray selfishly too and have unanswered or prayers answered differently than expected. You are so right. Pray but row for the shore as you do. May we all be blessed!

Michele D said...

Praying heals your soul.Helps with hope and blessings. I see nothing wrong with it.

Aisha Kristine Chong said...

Sometimes, it's not about not getting what we want - maybe God just wants you to wait.. right timing counts, too. Good luck Russ :)

Kristen said...

It's always great to live with a positive attitude!

Rebecca Swenor said...

I believe what happens is suppose to happen. Love this post because it makes you think about a lot. Thanks for sharing.

Kathleen Garber said...

I really love that last quote, it's a great one to remember. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us today.

tony greene said...

Standing strong in the grips of adversity will definitely help build your character.

Franc said...

No is also an answer but it is not the end if you don't get what you want, you'll just have to find the positive in it.

Joanna Sormunen said...

It's hard and scary but I really recomend praying God's will to happen. After a while you'll see that it is the best thing. And even if it's hard to give up those hopes and longings God really has something better prepared for you.

Julie Tucker said...

If you pray for what God wants you to have instead of what you want, you will get better than what you ever dreamed.

Mad Typer said...

I hope everything goes ok changing is never easy but it's necessary sometimes!

SJ Begonja said...

Thats a really great quote and a great way to look at things. Happy weekend!

Sandy Sandler said...

Change that is needed is never easy which I believe too that must be the right path. Good luck and stick in there!

Kenneth Clutario Agudo said...

It's alwasy good to see positive vibes. Very inspiring one

Cococute Manaloto said...

I may say that too much expectations really leads to frustrations and this is what I have been when I am in my High School days, I was always hoping to be the best of all things around school but then all great students were gathered in one section that is why from all those years that my family thought I was the best just revealed that there are lot of best people out there and so the competition made me feel giving up because I was always rejected of the things I want but always rewarded for the simple things that I don't pay attention too and now I realized that god answers our prayers but lets not asked for a spoon full feeding from him.

lloydy fernandez said...

God have the answer, Just do your best.