I'm at this point ( again ) with all these questions but with no answers ... yet. I always ask myself if I can still go on with the current course. This year was like being part of the Hunger Games: survival and surviving. Admittedly, it sometimes gets tiring. It makes me wonder if I am in the wrong place because there are days when I appear as if I don't care. And, the don't-careness easily spreads itself to all areas of one's life once one loses enthusiasm, but the nice thing about this, is that I know it's just a phase and there's something that I can do about it. I really just need to let some steam out.Ü
The not-so-obvious now being stated: horror knows its business. It constantly reminds me to watch my back and not trust anyone; horror keeps me grounded knowing that I am not indispensable and that I can bleed. I can make mistakes and everything can be gone in an instant.
The power of pace
To pace is to know when to go slow so you can think and wait until the danger is over then you get to bombard with sensory overload.
Balance & absence
The silence sets the scene for the scream and the screaming ceases for you to enjoy the silence while it lasts. It knows to keep things simple; just play with your childhood fears. Horror, when needed, kills your desire to dream. It throws you over its shoulder and carries you to a locked room where it leaves you to wait and shake while the nightmares seep through the floor. Ganyan ang labanan ngayon.
Today, one of my 'mothers' in the workplace celebrated her 50th birthday. I was looking at her this morning and I could not help but be astounded with what she has achieved. Some old-timers in the office say that hers is a story of corporate success — one thing is for sure, she must have worked her way up ( and she did it well ), to be where she is today. Her passion for what she does, her way with people, and her loyalty to the company are beyond compare. I wonder if these are the absolute best practices if you are in a corporate setting. Believe me, the answers that I get scare the sh*t out of me.
Loving the unexpected
As my day draws to a close, I wonder if I might have planned it all out a little better. Nah, I don't think so. Although not knowing and not having the answers to my questions kill the hell out of me and at the same time, I also get a rush out of it ... despite the overload of thoughts, feeling perpetually exhausted, and not knowing if it is either stress or if my mind is just puzzling out solutions with no guarantee of logical answers. My life right now is similar to that of a car race.
Guess it's a good time to slow down a bit, let everything pass, and get my much-needed massage. It wouldn't hurt to sit back and see how everything looks like from behind the rest of the pack, right? ☮..Peace + ❥_Love + Good Vibes. RUSS.